The Living Dead

Well, that last post was cathartic.  I lifted weights for the first time in months after writing it.  I feel really good, like maybe it's not too late to put my life in order.  I want to participate in life again.  I want to love and allow myself to be loved in return.  I want to break down my personal distance barrier and get rid of all the reasons I keep it up.  I want to not hate the way I look.  I want to get and stay healthy.  I want to be able to say the words "I love you" and not feel weird about it.  I want to read and write and draw and color and create and touch and participate.  I want to swim.  In the ocean.  I want to feel the sun on my face.  I want to sing.

I want, I want, I want...  haha.  

I want to be okay with wanting things for myself.  I want to be okay with getting them.  I want to be happy.

This post might even be more cathartic than the last.  I'm not sure if this is worth posting.  

Well, I know a way to make this post meaningful.

I'm gay.  I'm homosexual.  I like boys.  I'm a friend of Dorothy.


I don't know how many of you will be shocked to find this out.  I feel like I'm constantly giving out hints but I'm too cowardly to just come out and say it.  So, I'm saying it.  In a blog.  That I haven't even made public or shared yet.

Decisions, decisions...